Teaching Your Child About Forgiveness

Children learn phrases like “I accept your apology” or “I forgive you” early on in life. However, they need to truly understand the meaning of forgiveness to move past what has happened. This can be hard for children who are experiencing emotions like betrayal or hurt for the first time. Talk your child through why it’s important to forgive others, how to forgive others, and how it will ultimately benefit them to let go. Here are some ways you can lead your child on the path to forgiveness. 

It’s Not About Forgetting

Everyone has heard at some point that they need to “forgive and forget.” However, forgiveness and forgetting what happened are not one in the same. Your child needs to learn that when they forgive someone, they are choosing to move beyond what happened. However, it does not erase what the other person did. Making a mistake is different from mistreating someone with intent. If someone continuously mistreats your child, that needs to be addressed. 

It’s an Act of Love

Talk to your child about the importance of forgiveness as an act of love. By forgiving another person, your child is showing that they care enough to let go of what they have done and continue loving them anyway. In Matthew 6:14, the Bible speaks on forgiveness by saying “For if you forgive men their tresspasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive men their tresspasses, neither will your Father forgive your tresspasses.” This makes it all the more important to forgive others who have wronged you. 

You Need to Feel it First

When something bad happens to your child, even if it seems minor, they need to be allowed to express how it makes them feel. Children often express anger when, in reality, the core feeling is sadness or shame. Talk to your child about what happened and the feelings it brought up before asking for forgiveness. Forgiveness is a process, and if it’s rushed, it more than likely won’t be genuine.

Start by Writing it Down

Sometimes, it can be difficult to talk about how something makes you feel. It can be especially hard for children to express how they feel to someone who hurt them. Writing about these feelings in the form of a letter can make it easier for a child to process the emotions and forgive the other person. It can also help to get those feelings out before they talk to the person. Ideally, after writing the letter, your child will be able to tell the other person how they upset them and that they’re forgiven.

Learning about forgiveness goes a long way in learning about love and compassion. Our Osceola Catholic schools instill leadership and compassion in our students through rigorous academics and a foundation of faith. We foster an atmosphere of care and an environment of high expectations and effective discipline. To learn more about what makes us different, contact us here.